Impatience

I USED to be an impatient person. God is good because even when I was praying that God deliver me from impatience I was asking Him to please deliver me NOW!!! LOLOL!! Even in my prayer, I wasn't patient! Today, I took some time to meditate and look back over some things, I realized that my mind had CHANGED in regards to wanting things NOW. I realized that I am better off where God has me RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Well, I'm smiling now because as I looked back not TOO far down the road...I understand why. Hindsight can really be 20/20 and I thank God for HIS PACE and not MINE. It's a process. God is sooo good. I realized as I was praying earlier that my prayer has changed. When it comes to the things I want to do and accomplish, the things I want to happen in my life...I continue to work toward these things carefully in prayer but...there's no rush. I can wait on God. See, my timing might be NOW but I would rather HE take me at HIS pace and TEACH me some things than gain all this stuff through my flesh quickly and be destroyed in the process. I've noticed that I have put my blinders on...meaning that I'm not looking at the success of my neighbor or my friend and wondering what's up with me? (I admit the enemy still TRIES to come at me this way..but thankfulness and refection on what God is doing sends him FLEEING!!!) As I type, I smile because God is working in me HIS Good pleasure. I am HIS. He is MINE. I can look back today and see Him teaching me! I can surely live with His timing and not mine.....right? YES. I CAN. His timing is PERFECT. I choose His over mine anyday. So, don't get in a hurry. Have your goals, work toward them but make sure that God is directing your paths!! OH!! And I just read an AWESOME blog that confirmed EVERYTHING that God has been doing in my life lately. It was almost like He was telling me again that HE has everything in control. Just follow HIM. Be Blessed!

Feeling Encouraged!

If I were to say anything to encourage anyone today, it would be KEEP GOING. You might have big dreams and are working toward a certain goal but run into road blocks along the way. You might get distracted, sidetracked and plain ole' stopped in your tracks...but! Don't give up!! I have always wanted to be an author. A best selling author at that. For as long as I can remember. I remember when I was 5(give or take a few years! LOL), I wrote my first poem. It was read at my great grandmother's funeral. The poem was:

Life is Nice
I like it fine.
You can not have it twice
It's just a matter of time.

OK! LOL! First of all, now at the ripe age of 38 I look back on that poem as I've done in recent years and wondered WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY READ THAT AT A FUNERAL??? LOL!! Is that depressing or WHAT? LOL! I remember that day clearly. As soon as the poem was read, everyone began to CRY harder! Now, I understand why. I did not know my great grandmother too well, so I wasn't all that sad but I remember feeling pretty good that my poem was being read at her funeral. I also remember what gave me the first inspiration for that poem. A movie. I can't remember what it was about but I remember the title "A Matter Of Time". I remember that sparked something in me so I just wrote a poem about it. Wow!

I remember being in Middle School and I decided one day that I was going to write a book. After all, I always wrote. Stories, poems, journals. I just like to write and during those preteen/teen years, I found that I felt better when I wrote my feelings down. So, I began to write my book. I had all these ideas rolling around in my head and I wrote page after page after page. (guess what? I still have those pages) I remember my hands getting tired, my wrists hurt. I didn't have a typewriter. I didn't know what a computer was and the thoughts was coming faster than I could write! Pretty soon, that grew old so I just stuck with the basics of writing poems, stories and journaling but I never let go of writing a book one day.
Well to make a long story short and to get to my point, I went through some ROUGH times. My "out" was to write about them. It was my way of talking to God and doing what I've always done...tell the world on paper. It made me feel better. As I wrote I would cry and get it all out. I truly believe that doing this throughout my life kept me sane.

ANYWAY, my point is... I never gave up! Last year, yes..last year..my dream was realized. I became an author. Could I have done it sooner? Probably, but I believe that last year was my appointed time. 37 years old. I have run into road block after road block trying to get this book published! But, TO GOD BE THE GLORY, I am sitting here right now with 3 boxes full of my books that i am about to market! God is GOOD!! I am excited about the future. Will I be a best selling author one day? This is only the first of many books...who knows? All I know is that I feel a sense of accomplishment and I am encouraged that IF YOU DON'T QUIT..Y0UR DREAMS CAN COME TRUE. It might not be in your timing but if you remain faithful, it WILL come to pass. Of course I am receiving best seller status one day but my prayer has always been that even if I don't, I am asking God that this book of encouragement blesses everyone who reads it and that it falls in the hands of anyone that needs it!!! That each person will find deliverance somewhere in it's pages. GOD, JUST GET THE GLORY!!! I feel really encouraged today. I feel good and I give God glory!

An Encouraging Dream

Last night I had a dream that was alarming yet encouraging. A family member had called asking for money. I was happy to give her the money so I met her at a restaurant and I gave her my debit card and on another piece of paper I wrote my pin number and gave it to her. I must've went somewhere because I remember walking back to the table and saw that she had left my debit card on the table. She must've left it by mistake. I immediately panicked! What if someone saw it? Got my information? Is making purchases? Stealing my identity? I quickly called the bank and the lady told me about some illegal purchases that someone had already made on my card and I cried harder and harder. This was devastating news to me. As I was telling her to put a hold on that card I was crying hysterically wondering what else they could have purchased. I worked up enough composer to ask her "CAN I GET MY MONEY BACK??" and she told me "I COULD RECOVER ALL". I awake. Isn't that the most awesome dream???? I woke up and realized that no matter what I think I lost or what I think others took....I CAN RECOVER ALL!! That brings to mind David in Ziklag and how David went to God and encouraged himself in the Lord and asked God for guidance and God told him that he would recover all. It also reminds me of all the battles that were fought in the Old Testament that God gave the victory and they recovered all! I was ENCOURAGED. That dream let me know that no matter what I've been through in life for what I thought I lost.....I WILL RECOVER ALL!!! I want you to be encouraged too....as long as you have Christ..nothing is lost that can not be restored by the TRUE & LIVING GOD!!!!

Excited about the New Year!!!

I am really excited about the New Year. In years past, for some reason, crossing over into a New Year made me uneasy. It was scary to me b/c we were crossing over into the unknown. What would this new year bring? I thank God for a change of mind. I hold no fear whatsoever of the new year...only expectation. God is good. He will continue to be good. God told me months ago that no matter how it looked, the seasons had changed for me. I believe that. It does not matter that the calendar will flip to another year b/c our calendar is not His. His timing is not ours. It's as simple as that. The calendar is for ME or US to mark time...not God. So, what I have declared months ago...I'M STILL DECLARING. My expectation comes from being one day closer to the manifestation of what God has already told me was mine. Thank you God for the season change. Thank you for the season of Manifestation! Thank you for the rain!! As I look back on my year it seems as if I have taken one step forward and 5 back. I've made some mistakes and missed a few blessings but guess what? I repented and continued to take my one step forward no matter how little..I've made progress and I thank God for even that. I can truly say that I am not where I used to be and every single time discouragement knocked at my door, God was right there to lift me up! NEVER has He failed me! So, if I were to say any encouraging word to anyone that might read this...it would be.. not to look at 2010 as a failure! If you've moved an inch, you made progress. If you failed at something or something didn't come to pass that you thought would and you still did NOT give up..pat yourself on the back, Give God glory and keep it moving!! Also know that just because it's the end of OUR calendar year...it's not the end of God's!! He holds time in His hands!! We sometimes give ourselves unrealistic deadlines and want to speed up things when God might want to take us at a slower pace so He can prepare us and teach us some things!! And, if you've missed any timing..God is FAITHFUL to restore ALL. As long as you have breath in your body and continue to serve and obey God..you keep your hope alive! He's a God of not only a 2nd chance but countless.

Loving The Quiet

I love to be quiet. I love quiet. There is nothing like QUIET! LOL!! Consistent quiet..no. I'm a wife and mother. I love my family. I love the sound of their laughter and happiness. I can even deal with the disagreements and the yelling to a certain degree. That's called life. However, there must be a time of QUIET. Time to sit in silence and meditate, read the word and reflect on the goodness of God or time to be quiet and just think....NOTHING. Its important. None of us can remain in our sound mind if we have the tv and radio constantly blasting or always talking on the phone or with our friends. We can never regroup and reenergize if we are always running to and from and filling up our schedules with busy NOTHINGNESS. In the end, where does that get us? What are we chasing? Even as young as my 38 years, sometimes I long for the times of simplicity. The times where families sat down and ate dinner together. The times where the children had daily chores to do. The time where families had to grow their own food and raise their own livestock. The times where neighbors knew each other and watched out for each other and the whole neighborhood raised a child and people had good, sound morals! I will gladly take those times over the ones we live in now where there is an excess of greed, coldness and people that are just so busy that life is passing them by but they don't even realize it!! Slow down people!!! Relect, breathe, pray, be thankful. Be quiet and hear God. Don't get caught up in the everyday busy that pulls you away from God.

Thankful!

You know what? I'm sitting here looking around reflecting on how GOOD GOD IS and how thankful I am to be right where I am at this very moment in time. Now, if I thought hard enough, I can come up with something that I'd wish I'd done or could go or yadda, yadda, yadda...but I choose not to. I CHOOSE to be THANKFUL. I refuse to think too deeply about anything at this moment. I just CHOOSE to relax in the fact that things could be worse and in all honesty, I have NOTHING to complain about. GOD IS GOOD. He WILL pefect all that concerns me. He loves me and promises to always be with me! Hey! Wow! I'm mighty blessed! How about you?

One of my friends read the poem I posted a few nights ago and she called me "deep". She said that she understood it but maybe some people wouldn't. LOL. I read it again and I guess that's right. She also asked me was I talking about myself? LOL. Hmmm.....no, not that night, but I'm sure it was me at some point and time. Actually, that night my hubby came home from work. He didn't give me my hello kiss and I said something to him about it. We were fine. No anger involved. When I started to type other things came to mind and out popped the poem. I shared it b/c it is/was relevant! If we are brutally honest with ourselves, we can probably say that one time or another we came home from work(or wherever) tired, broke down, irritated and just didn't feel like being bothered! You might have a spouse or a family or a pet at home but to be honest, you just wanted peace and quiet! LOL. IT'S TRUE! COME ON! BE REAL! LOL!! Whether you are married with no children, married with children, a single parent with children or even if you live alone, you have kept up the 'pretense' of a smile being on your face while in the pubic eye when you weren't feeling it and then got behind closed doors and let the 'real you' of the moment come out. Guess what it's called? BEING HUMAN! LOL.(but also, not being prayed UP!) What WE(yes me too) must learn to do is to pray on our way home. Ask God to shake off the days stresses and allow us to breathe and rest in Him so that when we get home, we will love on our family/spouse/ourselves the way they/we deserve and to be mentally prepared to meet their needs. We should never be called out because we show strangers every courtesy but not our flesh and blood and this happens ALOT, whether you are in the Body of Christ or not. God wants us to be real at all times. My prayer is that we grow in God and get consistent in our emotions and be loving at all times. That's a PROCESS but if we are willing to yield to it and work at it ON PURPOSE, we'll see a change!