WEIGHT

Why u still playing that tug of war with God?
Just let it GO!
He said His burden is easy and His yoke is light.
What u still carrying that weight FO'?

Could it be you just might not trust Him
As much as you thought you did?
Could it be you are afraid things might not turn out the way you want them to
So instead of trusting Him, you try to keep it hid?

Your bones waxing old
Your soul down cast
He's telling you to give the burden to Him..
Is that too much to ask?

He sees you know. The heaviness.
The worry, the weight, the stress.
He sees all the stuff you're carrying
That you are not ready or willing to address.

We give it up, we pick it back up
Back and forth we go!
Even the angels getting dizzy
From all that to and fro'!

We can't be double minded expecting to receive from the Lord.
We just have to trust Him and doubt... aggressively avoid.

It grieves Him to see us so burdened
When it needn't be.
He's already paid that expensive cost
Just so we could be free.

But, still He loves us
More than we know
And He stands by waiting for us to come to Him as babes,
Release it, talk to Him, let it go,
So an overflow of that love, He can show.

PEACE

I've heard the quote "wherever you go..there you are..."
It was funny to me at first,
Until I actually lived it
and experienced it at it's worse!

Thinking, thinking....questioning all the time..
Oh! If I had wings like a dove, I'd fly away..
Thoughts, DON'T come back another day...
But, they go with me..wherever I go...there they are...

One thing about them...from them you cannot run..
"wherever you go...there you are"
Until you silence them, you'll be under the gun..
Cast them down, shake them off..go to Jesus..RUN.

I pictured myself sitting on the side of a well,
seeking,
waiting for Jesus to appear.
Instead what I saw were doves flying in the air
landing on my shoulders, lovingly playing in my hair.

What I heard was "PEACE".
That was it, nothing more.
He was giving me peace..
Lord, my word for you today is ADORE..

I love you...

"He has delivered my soul in PEACE from the battle which was against me.."

Steady Constant

We can not rely on emotions,
how we feel, what we think..
It changes all the time.
One minute up..one minute down
one minute in..one minute out..
emotions change on a dime.

What we can be sure of though..
Is our God never changes.
He never "trips", He never lies,
He's not always "rearranging".

With Him, you know what you're gonna get,
no here today gone tomorrow.
He is a steady constant...
even when we're filled with sorrow.

I don't know about you....
but I LOVE this about HIM.
I can trip and I can change
but my Father remains the same...

I can let all this "stuff" get to me
Even when He tells me to come to Him
He'll lift my burden and ease my stress
If only I come to Him and confess...

When I do reign in my "tantrum"
silence my heart and mind of thousands of questions..
His peace I will find
His love so divine
He's just my steady constant..

WHO.....? ME???

      I absolutely love my morning drive to work! I actually look forward to it. Whether it's raining, cloudy or sunny, that is my absolute favorite time of the day. I honestly take time to think about what I will do on my way to work. Will I pray? Just listen to music? A sermon? Will I praise and worship or just be quiet and SEE? I look at the clouds, how they move, the sun, the blue of the sky. I look at the trees and how the early morning sun's rays bounce around. I take in the beauty of it all. I'm at peace. I breath. I smile. Sometimes my eyes are beholding it all so much that it's as if I can't take it all in! I can't SEE enough. To me, it is beautiful. HE is BEAUTIFUL.
     Anyway, as I was on my way...I put a CD in. Nope. Not feeling that this morning. I cut it off. I felt the need for the moment to be quiet. It did not take long for me to be ministered to. Immediately I thought of Moses. Not of him leading the people out of Egypt which is what most people relate to, but his excuses and reasoning as if God made a mistake in calling Him.(Exodus 4:10,13) (Uhhh....God? What you talking bout? LOL. )I was reminded of a train of thought I had the day before. Ok..it was a LONG train of thought that I've had quite a bit! I was literally wondering about whether or not I had anything to say or if I could be used in a particular way. I was feeling a little bit intimidated. I mean, what makes me any different? Special?  I'm just ME. I was reminded that  Moses asked GOD "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh..." (Exodus 3:11) Let's think about this for a bit. Could it be that Moses was feeling a little inferior himself? He was fine where he was, right?  Why go back? That mountain was pretty comfortable, right? Did he have some concerns about what his old friends and acquaintances might think when he went back to the palace and they saw his beard, clothes and unruly hair?  Maybe he wasn't up on the latest style. Maybe he felt none of these things..only fear. But, he had some issues with God's call! To me, everything in him was screaming..WHY ME? Hey...I was being told I was in good company. Thank you Lord! I love Him so! He is with us always! He knows the concerns of our hearts whether they are spoken out loud or only pondered upon. He knows!
     What Moses didn't realize was that the whole time he was being prepared for the calling. Everything he had been through bought him to the burning bush. When God calls us to do things beyond what we feel is possible, we will have questions and fears but, just as He reassured Moses that He will be with him, He will reassure us.  Even though Moses had his questions..his answer was yes. We are not to be afraid because "I AM" is with us! That's exciting to me! We are to move forward in faith not looking at our shortcomings but at God's faithfulness.  We tend to compare ourselves to others and see ourselves as falling short.  We get a little intimidated and wonder how in the world it will work.  We fail to realize that when we hear the call, we have been designed to fit where He is calling us to!  It is tailor made! We don't realize that through our personal years "on the backside of the mountain" that there will be a "burning bush experience" waiting for us.  This experience alone will be THE REASON why we're here. THE PURPOSE for our existence. The answer to all those inner questions you've asked or pondered on. The fulfillment of all things concerning you in this life.  Don't miss out of it because of fear and feelings of inferiority.  SAY YES! LET'S GO.  

Real Talk....Love Walk

     Another transparent moment...I don't mind (too terribly) because there is not enough transparency these days. Everyone wants to look like they got it all together. Keep throwing you scripture after scripture. Paint you a picture of "perfect" that is far from it. As I sometimes tell my daughters..." Girl, BYE". (SMILE)  I look at all of us as a huge puzzle and we are each a piece. We need each other to make a whole. Let's get real and reach back and help someone that might have the same issue...Anyway...
     Not too long ago, someone said to me "God said you have a lot of love inside of you...why is it not coming out?" I looked at him and said "Huh? What?" LOL. I didn't get it but it nagged me and opened up a can of worms.  I mean, I began to do a checklist: Am I treating someone wrongly? Am I holding a grudge? Am I walking in unforgiveness? I know we all have issues but that question perplexed me. It challenged me so I did exactly what the Lord wanted me to do. I began to seek Him. A few days later as I sat pondering on it again, it was almost like a "video" that flashed through my mind. I saw myself when I first gave my life to Christ and years after. The JOY I walked in..even when the "zeal" was over, how happy I still was! I was so full of Love that I could hug someone to death and love them right back to life again! LOL! I saw how the Lord would use me to touch lives. I am naturally an introvert so we would go back and forth when I felt led to do something or say something but..in the end.. I did what He was leading me to do cause I wanted to please Him. I remember even being an usher in the church I attended at the time and for the longest, I absolutely LOVED IT. I loved to greet people, smile, hug, laugh, help with babies, show them their seats with a smile. I was SUPER USHER and did it all in the Love of the Lord. In the beginning, it was not just a "job" to me. I sat there in total recall...smiling.
      Then, the "video" began to change. I saw church hurt, rejection on top of rejection, lies and even up until recently, betrayed confidences.  I was like WHOA. It was heavy ya'll. I have not told you all that I saw but I realized that with that one comment from someone that drove me to specifics with God, I literally opened up a can of worms that I had to DEAL with. (What is it that you need to deal with in your life? Someone you hate? unforgiveness? Selfishness? Pride? A bad habit? UNBELIEF? DOUBT? ) As I sat there, I did realize that it was a set up. The Lord has been bringing me to this point for a while now and it was time to come to the carpet.  If we want to be whole and move on and up, we have to deal with that in which He brings to our attention. See, God has delivered me from the pain and I have forgiven for those things that happened back in my past...BUT, I HAD CHANGED. There was left over residue. I saw myself now compared to back then. (Yes. we all change & grow and don't stay the same. Not talking about that..stay with me.)  As a result of all that I had gone through I had lost trust in people. We are to always of course be discerning but I had become "stand off-ish" and reserved. I withdrew. I remember once being called a "recluse" by a team leader at my old job. We laughed about it but in my head and heart..I still went "hmmm...."  That was over 10 years ago. He said I did my work well and all was fine but I just stayed to myself and by myself all the time.  I had sometimes wondered through the years why it seemed like the Lord wasn't "using me" like He was back in the past and the answer was finally unfolding itself right in front of my eyes.  It wasn't that I didn't love people anymore,  I had put walls up.  I still would do anything for anyone within my circle or whatever was needed...but  that was it. I never let anyone get close...only really family and a few others cause I felt like they were "safe". I was good with everyone else from a distance. I am polite, positive, I won't hurt you....but you won't gonna hurt me either!  I wasn't trying to meet new people or grow relationships. I had built a wall of comfort around myself where I was just happy being in my own little world alone.  No one can hurt me there. As these things began to unfold, I was floored.  I realized that I had "limited" God. For so many years I walked around in my self made comfort zone and refused to be "open" or "available" to Him for fear of being hurt. I was functioning "broken".  Does this sound familiar to anyone? I'm sure not everyone will relate. It is well. If this ministers to a few and causes them to get before the Lord to get rid of an issue, then my transparency was worth it.
     As I began to repent and call out to the Lord I realized that I didn't want the walls anymore. It's lonely and no fun.  He wants us to have life and have it more ABUNDANTLY. My cocoon was killing me. It was time for the butterfly to emerge! I have always been an introvert but I LOVE to laugh, joke and have fun. I LOVE to encourage. I love to "bubble over".  (my family will tell you) I really began to realize how much I MISSED "bubbling over!"  HE LOVES ME and if I were ever going to be all that He called me to be, I had to let all that stuff go and be willing to "get back out there" again  and do the work of the Lord! I asked Him to knock down every wall. I mean, how many lives could He have used me to touch? How many divine connections had I missed? I was "existing" but not "living" because the main thing that made me happy and filled me with joy, I allowed and even assisted the enemy in stifling it.
     How many of us have had our dreams dashed or gifts stifled because of LIFE? They are still there! It's restoration time! We have to learn to let go and trust God with all our shortcomings and our pain. We have to spend time with Him on a regular so we will have the strength to keep the "little foxes" away. He will sharpen our discernment in regards to people and their TRUE motives. He'll lead us in what to do. HE'S A SAFE PLACE. We literally have to close our eyes, let go and jump into His arms. SEE yourself doing it. The enemy would LOVE to have you build walls around yourself and hold on to certain pain/habits in your life so God's plan through your life won't be realized. Don't let Him win. Your BIGGEST area of pain is where God wants to use you the most and where you WILL obtain your greatest VICTORY.  I pray that you will allow the sweet Holy Spirit to come in and walk you right through your pain and OUT OF IT. Let Him put the mirror on you. It's worth opening yourself up to God to be free. Someone in your same situation is waiting on your testimony! Let's get back out there together and make an impact for the Kingdom! I can honestly tell you that that is a journey...we are all works in progress. I don't care who you see that you think might have it all together...they don't. It's your transparency before God and as He uses you to be transparent before others that will deliver many! LET'S GO! WE HAVE WORK TO DO!

A Treasure Found...

     First of all...let me say..my blog is getting a make over. It's in the works so hopefully it will be done soon....

    I just wanted to share how sweet the Lord is.  Back in March, I attended an awesome Glory meeting. My sister and I walked in and we noticed that we were the only 2 African American people in the whole church! At first, of course, we felt a little bit uncomfortable but it only took SECONDS for us to be embraced and shown to a seat where we began to worship and praise the Lord along with everyone else. We were one big happy family! That service is one that I will carry the memory of for the rest of my life. Not only because of the Glory that was present in that place but because it gave a new and deeper meaning to God not looking at our outer appearance, but at our hearts. He doesn't care about color...He made us all for His Glory!  One TRUE TEST of whether or not you are walking in prejudice is if you can go into a church and fellowship with others no matter what their race. If we are TRULY walking in the Spirit of the Lord, race should not matter at all. He loves us all. Just because He made us to look different does not mean He treats us differently so, why do we do it? If you can't deal with it now...what Heaven are you going to?  My goodness...I wasn't going to type that at all...I'm supposed to be typing about "A Treasure Found" and my fingers just started typing something else...Oh well.. To God Be the Glory. This was meant for someone to read....
     Getting back on task...there was a sweet older woman there. As soon as I got situated and started to praise, she walked up to me with a message from the Lord. (I blogged about this in March). At the end of the service she gave me her name, number...even her address(smile). she was so sweet. She invited us back to other meetings. It was one that was coming up at the end of March and my sister and I talked about trying to go on the way back to our room. Well, as soon as we got back to our hotel, I began to look for her number and I could NOT find it. We had driven over an hour away from the event to get to our hotel. (we were 6 hours from home).  I looked through my bible, purse, everything I had 2-3 times, even more. I was outdone. What in the world had I done with it?? We couldn't go back. Church had let out. I had no information on this lady. I prayed and asked God to show me. I never found her number.
     This past Saturday, I pulled my bible out as I have done hundreds of times before and there was her number. That same paper that I couldn't find. Huh? Immediately I knew, I HAD to call this lady.  I don't know why but, it was just too much. I KNEW I had looked EVERYWHERE for her number. At first, I was nervous. She doesn't know me! She probably didn't even remember me. Would she think I was crazy? I prayed, worked myself up into a tizzy and finally just made the call......and I had the best conversation that I had in a while. And yes, she remembered me.  I smile as I type. It was meant  for me to talk to her today because she began to confirm a few things I had been questioning. She also gave me some desperately needed guidance in an area that I needed at THIS particular time in my life. Bless her precious heart, she even gave me a homework assignment! (smile)  I also know that my calling was a blessing and encouragement to her. I hung up the phone with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face and I immediately began to execute what she told me to do. See, God hears us when we pray and sometimes, we do get silence from Him but.....it's for a REASON. We just need to trust Him. HE knows what He is doing and He has His perfect timing in everything.