Determination

     I have shared that stairs are not my thing. I have tripped/fallen down more steps than I can count. But that shall not be my portion ANY MORE in Jesus name! (LOL! I'm laughing....but, it won't! And I've done well lately!!) One time, I took a serious tumble and was out of work for days because I had a broken/bruised tail bone and I literally could NOT sit down. It hurt to walk. The pain was agonizing and during that same time, I was trying to submit the last editing of my book and I had a deadline. I literally laid on my couch on my stomach and worked on the manuscript because I was determined to get it submitted. I remember crying. My lower back ached as well. I remember shifting from side to side just to keep a semi comfortable position. It was almost impossible!  I remember feeling frustrated and helpless but I pressed on...in tears! The book had been in the making for years and I knew that it had to be done.
     When I look back, I know that it was only the Lord that gave me the endurance that I needed to get that work completed and submitted. It was impossible in my own strength. I had so much other stuff going on... but I had to make my mind up, set my face like flint and press forward. God did the rest. In my flesh, I just wanted to take the pain killers and go to sleep but I knew I couldn't. My spirit just would not let me.
     What is it that God has put in your spirit to do? Now?  What distraction has come to hold you up or to get you off focus?  Or are you just afraid? DELAY NO MORE! GET IT DONE. I had to pay half of the money and had to pay the other half before the copies were printed. I had no idea how I was going to get the balance of what I needed but I kept silent. I asked no one for money. I only prayed and asked God to supply it.
     One day, I was visiting my parents and out of the blue, my dad asked me how the book was going. I was actually surprised he asked. It wasn't like I was going around talking about it. I wasn't. I told him good but didn't go any further. He asked me did I need anything and was everything taken care of? I knew God had opened this door but,  I didn't want to tell my dad what I needed ( a little pride? That's another blog) but I did and without hesitation, he gave it to me.
     I'm passionate when I type this because I had to get the book submitted, it had to be printed and they had to mail a sample copy for my approval and then print the copies. That takes time.  I was not self publishing but was going through a publishing company. My sister in law hosted a book signing event for me in February 2011. I remember at one point being discouraged,  thinking of asking her to cancel it because several of the people that I wanted to be there for my special event were not able to make it but I could never voice the words.  I knew this HAD to happen and it did and it was a beautiful event.
      I said all of that to say this......In February 2011, my dad was at my book signing shining with pride for his daughter. His health was not the best but he was well. No one knew that 3 short months later, he would not be with us anymore.  He sat and he read the book. He told me he was proud of me. He was so excited that he took copies of my book and literally went home and out and about selling copies! He was one proud papa!(smile) I know that it did his heart good to see what had been accomplished. Many of you have seen on face book several times how I refer to him as my biggest fan...I still believe he was!  After everything was said and done and I looked back, I knew that it was meant for me to get that book printed and a copy in his hand for him to treasure at that time. I can't explain it. Would he still know about it in Heaven? yes..I'm sure he would but for purpose beyond me...the timing of that event was orchestrated and not only did it do his heart good but it was a MAJOR blessing for me to have him and my mom there and for them to support me the way they did. Plus, as he sat there and read pages and pages of my book that day...I knew that it was ministering to him. He was very focused that day. Who KNOWS what was happening in the spiritual realm? Could something that was written in that book break something off of him that he had carried for years? Again? Who knows?  In addition, so many people contacted me about how a particular poem or testimony spoke directly to them and encouraged them in some way and spoke to things they were going through. TO GOD BE THE GLORY! None of mine...ALL OF HIS!
     So, in a nutshell...If The Lord is impressing on your heart to do something and its not leaving you alone...DO IT NOW. No matter how small or large it might seem. It IS significant for His purpose! Rest assured that there is special timing involved. There is someone out there that needs you... or God would not have put that urgency in your spirit. Don't worry about the how of it...just step. There will be distractions and things to happen that will try to take you off of your destination but be determined to stay focused and press forward knowing that God has all things in control and is ordering your steps!