Monday, March 31, 2014

DNA

    I was sitting here today and started to think about how we all have our own DNA.  How absolutely AWESOME is that? Isn't God just amazing? Our own uniqueness. No one has the same DNA..not even identical twins! There is no other YOU. To me, it seems to me that God is always using natural things to help us better understand spiritual things and just how special we are to HIM. He is letting us know that He took His time to create each and every last one of us and make us uniquely special; different from anyone else on this earth, even our parents-especially our very own mothers who carried us and birthed us! To anyone out there that feels that they are not special...just think on THAT for a minute. To take it even further, not only did He create us as ONE OF A KIND, He also put a stamp of purpose on us that only we individually are called to fulfill. Sorta like our own special God given assignment. I heard my Pastor put it this way..it's like a puzzle. If one piece is missing, the puzzle is not complete. A puzzle is only complete when all the pieces are there and are put in the right place. All the pieces play a part and they are not the same.  If you put the pieces in the wrong place, the picture will be distorted. We are all important. We are all puzzle pieces to one big picture and that is the Kingdom of God. Wow...I feel so SPECIAL and LOVED after meditating on that...how about you?

Monday, March 17, 2014

Spiritual Temper Tantrum

    LOL! Wow...what a topic. I'm going to be very transparent here and confess my fault....I had one today! LOL! It was a serious "pout party" but at the same time when I got a mental picture of what I was doing...I couldn't help but smile. I've had a very specific thing up before the Lord for a long time! God has moved so much in my life these past months that I KNOW this thing is right around the corner...but, I have to confess, I don't wait well. God is dealing with me here. He's growing me up. When I feel like I have confirmation on a thing or if I'm believing God for something and REFUSE to believe anything else....I'm ready for it to happen NOW. LET'S GO! Wait? Process? What's that??  (don't judge me...LOL) Well, today was a frustrating day for me. I guess you can put that mildly. I was crying out to the Lord and as I was sitting there,  I began to imagine how the Lord must see me...like a child who throws a temper tantrum. Although I was sitting at my desk doing my work appearing to everyone around me that I was focused and getting the job done, on the inside I was kicking, screaming, crying and rolling around on the floor. I was acting just like a child who wants a toy that a parent has put on top of the refrigerator and told them they couldn't have it...YET. As I envisioned myself having this "Spiritual Temper Tantrum", I also imagined seeing the Lord standing beside me while I'm rolling all over the floor. He's looking down at me. He's tapping His foot. He has His hands on His hips, He's rolling His eyes and He is looking down at me shaking His head. LOL. As much as I was into my pout party, when I imagined this...I had to LAUGH and yes, get myself together. I thought about a natural parent telling their child "not yet", "you just have to wait" and the child is not satisfied with that answer. That parent probably said "wait until after dinner" or "wait until Christmas" which is next month or "wait until your birthday" which is a week later, or just a plain "wait" with no time frame-- but, they totally tune out the part "not yet" and just want it NOW. How many of us are guilty of that? (Be honest) You know God is going to answer your prayer. You are praying and believing Him for something. You have His confirmation but it's a "not yet" so instead of Thanking Him and Praising Him for what's to come, at times of difficulty or when it seems like its not going to happen, you have a fit.  As I sat there and turned these thoughts over and over in my head...along with what happens when a child CONTINUES to throw this tantrum and the parent gets fed up with it, I QUICKLY checked myself then. (Plus, I was imagining myself just as I was.. a 41yr old woman having a fit...not pretty..even spiritually speaking, not pretty at all...LOL)  I had to repent and ask the Lord to forgive me. I began to just sit there and humble myself and pray. I began to praise Him again just for being who He is and for being such a GOOD, UNDERSTANDING, PATIENT PARENT. He loves us so much.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Discovering The "Real" You.....

    I know we have all heard the quotes "To thine own self be true..." and "know thyself". Lord knows I've heard those quotes hundreds of times...but, I never thought of them as something to really meditate on..but, to many of us, that might be a good thing to do. We all get so caught up in being wives, husbands, parents, whatever our occupation is, caregivers, children, our hobbies, our service, Pastor's wives, Pastor's husbands, etc.. It just seems like we have so many "things" that we are required to be that sometimes, we lose track of who we really are. It's all about the cause and looking the part. Our identity becomes what we do instead of "who we are". We become like legalistic little robots.  I've been so many things for so many others for so many years that I've lost track of who I am and who God has really called me to be. Who is Hope? What does she like? who is she? I'd failed to "know myself". How many of us suffer from this same malady? I've found myself seeking God on an even deeper level on who He's called me to be and what He's called me to do and...guess what? It's exciting! But, get ready! As you go deeper and grow closer, He will let you know what "things" you're doing that are time wasters and are not productive. There will also be people that you've been around for so long and all of a sudden, your conversations get shorter and shorter because you realize that you don't have as much in common anymore. You're going to have to be true to yourself and realize what's working and what's not and be led by God on what to step away from and then, be brave enough to do it with His help. It's not easy(especially if you are a "high profile" person)  But, it's all part of the process and we have to be willing to go through it in order to have the fulfilling life that God has called us to. As those "empty" things and relationships are shed from us, God is now able to put those things in us that will glorify Him and make us whole. We move from being Robots to being profitable stewards and servants of the Most High!
      As an ending thought, I remember the story of Mary and Martha. (Luke 10:38-42) As I read this, I thought about how we get so busy running to and from like chickens with our heads cut off. Going here and there to get this done, to get that done, to fix this, to fix that...just all over the place doing THINGS in our own strength, making ourselves dizzy..but Mary sat at the foot of Jesus. I really and truly believe that if Martha had chosen as Mary did and sat at the foot of Jesus as well and spent time with Him, in the end, everything still would've been accomplished...just without the stress. There is just something about putting Jesus first that makes everything else afterward fall into place........

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

A Deeper Understanding....

Wow...My last post was Dec.6th but God has not stopped amazing me! He has graciously given me clarity to a part of my vision that I had back in Dec. which I posted in my blog and of course, the way He did it was BIG because He is such a BIG GOD! This past weekend, my sister in law asked me to attend a Glory Meeting with her in Georgia. I wanted to go but my flesh QUICKLY kicked in because I had been out of town the previous weekend as well. BUT, Spiritual HUNGER overrode my fatigue so...OFF I WENT! It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. When we got to the location where the Glory meeting was held, we walked right in and began to worship. There was such a sweet spirit in that place! It is amazing to me how you can walk into a room where no one knows you and you know no one but the Spirit of God makes you one happy family! We were not even there 15 min when a sweet,older lady came and sat down beside me and began to minister to me. (this is where you might want to stop and read my blog from Dec.6!) She began to share with me how she saw me seated at a table with a gold plate, fork, spoon, knife in front of me(in my vision, it looked silver..but hey..)she said in a glass/goblet was the finest, sweetest wine. NOT the wine that the world gives but the wine the Lord gives. she said all around me was the finest of steaks, grapes, food and the Lord was saying for me to EAT OF HIM, DRINK OF HIM...He sees how hungry I am for Him. She also went on to say that He has heard EVERY ONE of my prayers and He is going to answer them! (refer to blog when I said I lifted the lid of the platter and all my prayers were under it. He let me know that He heard and kept every one) Oh my Goodness! If this was not MY LORD speaking to me....! It was the most amazing thing and all I could feel was His Love wash over me all over again! She said other significant, confirming, encouraging things to me but how AMAZING it was that I told NO ONE about this encounter with my Lord. I only published it in this blog....then, MONTHS later..travel 5 1/2 hours from my home to have someone share with me exactly what I saw and even bring more clarity to what I was seeing! What confirmation! Such a humbling encounter!  What praise belongs to our God! We are SO important to Him! During the entire fellowship, the Lord continued to show Himself in so many, many ways. It was a life changing, humbling experience and we both went away hungry for more of JESUS! I encourage you...Seek Him on a DEEPER level! Get to KNOW Him. Desire more of the Lord...don't just be satisfied with weekly church services, go DEEPER, seek HARDER for there is more to the Lord than we think and He is just WAITING AND LONGING for us to come and fellowship with HIM!  He loves us so much! I assure you...as you and I seek Him, He will change us from the inside out to be more like Him. We will find VICTORY in every area of our lives and we will see the promises of the Lord come to pass! Be Blessed!!

Friday, December 6, 2013

12-6-13 Something so profound and awesome happened to me that I just have to tell it. I saw on my blog that I haven't blogged in over a year! Wow! I purchased a voice recorder several months ago and I've been faithful to try and record and journal on my way to work or when I'm in the car alone and I recorded this experience on it but...it still wasn't enough. I was going to write it down on a piece of paper, type it in my computer and just save it...but,that still wasn't enough. I have to post it somewhere that I knew it could not be deleted where I could come back years from now and still read of this glorious experience and worship in wonder all over again and who knows, maybe someone will stumble across it and be blessed! So many things have been happening in my life. So many things and nothing at the same time! I can't explain it! (smile) But, I count myself still a blessed individual because there is always someone worse off than me. We all have our own battles that we have to contend with, but, this THING has been hard for some time and the clouds are finally clearing. Praise My Lord! Well, a few nights ago, I was awakened out of my sleep in the wee hours of the morning. My mind was so full of thoughts of this and that, I have to make this decision, that decision, what do I choose, which way do I go? How will it work? UGH! I got so SICK of my RUNNING mind. I thought about going into my closet to pray. (this is where I go for quiet time) I literally remember laying there trying to fight my mind by myself b/c my flesh didn't feel like getting out of bed but my closet beckoned and my thoughts raged. I went in and sat. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to begin to even "go in". I was weak and just asked the Holy Spirit to help me. I began to pray in tongues and worship and tears were pouring. As I did this, I began to feel the presence of The Lord so STRONG. I began to decree and declare some things in my life. I began to speak those things that are not as though they were. I began to PROCLAIM what I wanted to happen. As I continued to worship and praise, I saw a suitcase put before me. It was silver like those that the people on the movies carry that were full of MONEY. I reached out my hand and opened the case and began to pass stacks of money around. I gave to this cause, that cause, this person that had a need, that person that had a need. I paid off all my bills and continued to give out of this suitcase. Then it disappeared and a long, heavy sword appeared in front of me. It was very long and beautiful. the handle was beautiful...it was standing straight up in front of me in mid air so I reached out and wrapped my hands around it and began to ask "God, what does this mean?" A sword? As I held it up with my hands around it (as they are holding a sword in the movies when they are preparing to fight) I began to swing it back and forth...Battling with the Sword of the Spirit. The Word of God. I began to put on other pieces of armor. helmet of salvation, shield of faith, waist with truth, breastplate of righteousness, feet with the gospel of peace. ( I am getting more understanding of the sword as I type now). Then the sword went away and the suitcase was back. I don't remember opening it this time but it was there again before me. I remember thinking how all my needs are supplied. Then, something even more beautiful happened. I was suddenly sitting at a table. A long table. One thing I thought was "He has prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies.(?) I was not at the head of the table but sitting in a beautiful, gorgeous seat on the left side of the table. The table was covered with a white tablecloth and right in front of me was a spread fit for a queen. the plate, goblet, silver wear was all shiny and beautiful and I was being served. YES, SERVED! An angel was standing on my left side and one was on my right side picking up my goblet and pouring the finest wine into it. I remember smiling and feeling so special! Like someone had given me the best GIFT in the world! I began to eat the food and drink. It was so DELICIOUS! I don't know what the food was! LOL! I did know that I was drinking sweet wine. I put my goblet down and looked to my right down the table and there at the head of table sat JESUS! He had a crown on his head and dressed in white. He was watching me smiling. He was happy that I was happy and enjoying my meal. He never stopped smiling or looking at me with love in His eyes. I looked upon Him and bowed my head and thanked Him over and over again weeping, bowing thanking, praising. I was so HAPPY and THANKFUL! Then, the food went away and a tray was sat before me with a cover on it. Again, it was shiny and silver, beautiful. To give you a visual..have you ever spent the night at a hotel and ordered room service or seen someone order room service on tv and it was bought to you on a wheeled cart in a stainless steal tray with a tall, domed lid? I'm not talking about that cheap metal that you get when you are in the hospital! I'm talking about room service at the finest hotel..Well, this was finer and shinier than that! It was placed right in front of me at the table. I remember wondering what it was. Dessert? I reached up and lifted the dome. I can't tell you exactly WHAT was under that dome but I just knew and I began to weep as understanding began to flow over me. There under that dome, on that tray was all my prayers. Everything I had ever asked for, prayed about, sought God about. And what made me weep even harder was also under that tray was my DESIRES. My deep, heart felt desires that only God REALLY knows. They were there too. He heard them and kept every one and He was answering them for ME. FOR ME! The very depth of what I was feeling and the KNOWING of just HOW MUCH JESUS LOVES ME had me so humble and weak that I turned my head to the right again to look upon Him and could barely see Him through my tears. All I could do was bow down and worship Him and praise Him and thank Him and thank Him and thank Him and worship Him even more. He never said anything but He didn't have to. He kept the same smile on His face that was so FULL OF PURE LOVE FOR ME THAT I COULD HARDLY STAND IT. Just LOVE. I praised Him and thanked Him even more,even as the angels readied me to go back to bed. I literally saw them place a cover/ white cover over me as I laid down. In my natural body, I had come out of my closet and got back in my bed. Now, I thought..Did I actually witness that? Did that just happen? Was it a dream? no. I was fully awake the whole time. Was it a vision? I don't know. Actually, to me it does not matter because I know I had an encounter with My Heavenly Daddy. I went in that closet one way and I came back out completely different. All I know was that it was BEAUTIFUL. JESUS IS BEAUTIFUL. He loves each and every one of us and no matter what, He looks at us ALL with that same sweet smile that is FULL of love and He LOVES to see us happy and blessed. THE FATHER LOVES US SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. There are no words that can describe that love. All we need to do is receive it. yes, even bask and rest in it and praise Him for who He is and what He did for us all on that cross. He did it ya'll! All because HE LOVES US...even when we didn't love Him! even in our hard times. Even when we feel He doesn't hear us or cares..YES, HE DOES. He wants us to trust Him.

Monday, March 12, 2012

A Time of Reflection

Wow. I looked at my blog and noticed that it has been a LONG time since I've updated it! (smile) I am still journaling but so many things have changed and gone on! For one, I have changed. My focus now is finding out my true destiny and ways to serve My Master and Creator. I am working on keeping myself clean. My heart clean. My thoughts clean. UH no. Not perfect at all but I've found that I'm focusing more on these things. See, God moved alot of my "crutches" from around me so I could focus more on Him. At first, I didn't see it as such and even when I did realize what He had done, I still had to adjust to having my "training wheels" removed. When God moves people from around you that you've leaned on, it's for our good. He wants us to focus on HIM and not run to THEM everytime you have a problem. He wants a deeper relationship with me and I guess He, being my Heavenly Father knew that He had to put me on an island all alone so I could just focus on Him. Now that I look back, I THANK HIM. He is SOOO good to me. I've discovering my uniqueness. My quirks. My ways and just how different I am. LOL. I love it. I love being me...IN CHRIST. I'm edgy and can be outspoken (in a nice way). God has been dealing with me for YEARS about taking the limits off and stepping out of the box. Do you know I have not done it to the fullness YET? LOL! Well, stay tuned...I think some things are about to change. It's all about Him anyway.....right?

The Limitless Lady!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Lesson Re-learned

I am so thankful that God is patient with us and loves us so much that when we need a "refresher" course in this thing called "life", He will give it to us with love. God had to "re-teach" me that I need to take one day at a time. I am a BIG Dreamer. I dream large because I believe that God can do it...However, sometimes it can consume us to the point that we are so focused on our future that we don't enjoy today or we get out of timing with God trying to rush. He helped me to realize that HE is the God of my tomorrow. HE has my life and my times in HIS hands...what's my rush? As long as He is leading and guiding my steps, I'm not missing anything! Here I am frustrated that this isn't happening or that isn't happening fast enough and that left me unfulfilled and feeling like a failure. This isn't God's will for us. He let me know that I should be taking one day at a time in Him and taking the time to smell the roses. This doesn't mean not to work toward my dreams but it means that in the "meantime" from today until the vision is reality, I can enjoy the journey..plus, He can use me mightily on the way. So, don't be like me. Don't be so focused on tomorrow (that's not promised by the way) that you waste today that the Lord has made! Be glad and rejoice in it! God has something wonderful in store for you each and everyday. Don't miss HIM.

Limitless